Dario Argento’s Mother Of Tears

What an absolute pile of disappointing poopy plops this turned out to be. 1/10.

I had naively ignored all the crummy reviews this (the third of the three mothers trilogy) had received and last night sat down and sat through a painfully boring experience. I knew it would never be able to come close to being as good as Susperia was .. but I suppose I somehow hoped that this might be in the same league as Inferno (the second in the trilogy).

This though had nothing … nadda … zitch …. f**k all in the way of Dario Argento’s usual flare, suspense, inventive camera working and good reliable old fashioned scares. Without these elements (that have in the past given Argento the title of “the Italian Alfred Hitchcock”) all that was left was a collection of frames filled with terrible acting. 

So Mr Argento, you’ve now completely lost me … what was going though your mind when you were making this? The Mother of Tears isn’t exactly a crap movie, it’s just …. it’s just ….. life less. 

I’m going to quickly stick on my copy of Susperia and remind myself as to why I first fell in love with Dario Argento. 

Here’s an example of Susperia’s excellence. Don’t worry if you havent seen the film before …. this scene is from right at the beginning and doesn’t give away anything.  

Trailers From Hell

Don’t think I’ve bloggered about this before .. so sorry .. I should have .. coz it’s brill ! 

Trailers From Hell HERE showcases a collection of classic vintage movie trailers with the choice of viewing them with or without commentary. Commentary’s by such people as Rick Baker (special effects artist on American Werewolf in London), Joe Dante (Director of Gemlins, Gremlins 2: the new batch and the Howling), John Landis (Director of American Werewolf in London and Three Amigos!), Eli Roth (makes films about peoples misfortunes) and Edgar Wright (director of TV’s Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz). 

I’ve mostly been watching the Edgar Wright ones, but do check them all out … like me – you might just discover a film or two you’ve not heard of before.  

Bjork Live At The Hammersmith Apollo

Last night I saw an amazing performance by her majesty of poms ….. Bjork !

The show has left me somewhat speechless, so let me hand over to a professional – HERE.   

I was also going to post one of the many YouTube fan vids as well, but the mobile phone jerky quality just doesn’t do justice to actually being there. 

Commenting On Cloverfield

Well …. I’ve just been to see it … after months of viral generated anticipation I’ve finally been to see if the movie lives up to all the hype they spent millions on creating. So what do I think ……. we’ll I don’t think it’s at all disappointing as a piece of celluloid entertainment.. In fact it was rather good! It deliverers all you would expect from a big monster movie – pushing all the right buttons at a speedy pace and all under an hour and a half too. What about the monster?? Well that also lived pretty much up to my high expectations. It’s maybe not the scariest looking, but it keeps it’s cool factor mainly because of what it’s doing to New York, smashing and trashing, thrashing and bashing everything in it’s path. I did find it a little difficult to feel any sympathy towards the central characters, but they worked purely as a guide through all the films mayhem.. as they experienced more – we experienced more – so on so on. The fact we see everything from the point of a hand held camcorder creates some brilliant atmosphere throughout, but takes some getting used to and can make you feel a little nauseous at times. All in all a worth the wait fun pact jazz monkey of a movie. 8/10

The Holy Mountain

I can’t give this film anything lower than 10/10, but if you were to ask me why I liked it so much – I’m afraid I would find it impossible to give you a straightforward answer. Also to just call this simply ‘a film’ doesn’t quite feel right .. it’s maybe best calling this ‘an extraordinarily crafted piece of visual pleasure made to awaken the part of your brain you forgot existed’. It is evident that Jodorowsky has dripped his sweat and blood over each and every shot (big or small) within this extraordinarily crafted piece of visual pleasure made to awaken the part of your brain you forgot existed. From the opening title sequence through to the last frame, my eyelids were firmly set to open for fear I would miss something.. that and the fact that my eyes couldn’t believe what was being projecting through them. So if your after ‘a film’ with a thought provoking narrative that gets you arguing with your chums over dinner and wine – this isn’t for you. Yet.. if your after an extraordinarily crafted piece of visual pleasure made to awaken the part of your brain you forgot existed and gets you happily perplexed with your chums over dinner and wine – this is for you. 10/10Here’s a trailer. 

Black Christmas

 Unlike some other horror movies from the 1970’s (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Suspiria) Back Christmas has unfortunately become a bit of a lost gem. I must admit that I had not seen or heard of Black Christmas until very recently when recommended by a friend.. but I’m really glad I’ve discovered it now. It reminded me of how well they used to make horror movies in the 1970’s, every shot in this lost classic keeps you well and truly on a knifes edge. The film may not be as gory as it’s brothers and sisters from that decade, but it certainly makes up for it in suspense and JUMPS! and it hasn’t dated to badly either after more than thirty years. From the horridly twisted telephone calls to the scary as hell eye that look’s through the crack in the door.. there’s plenty here for all fans of the slasher/stalker genre.. see it NOW. The Duvada also comes with some very informative documentaries that give you a detailed account as to how the film was made. Using interviews from producers and actors, even revisiting some of the main locations.. there’s more here than most highly regarded horror movie packages.  8/10

Thumbs Up!

Yes ‘thumbs up’ is a tacky title for this review of ‘The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb’, yet I really do think this sweet little movie deserves it. The model animation is lovely, but it’s the live action stop motion that really excels in this 60min gem. How the actors managed to stay still for such a long period is incredible. You may find as I did that the plot is a bit of a mess at times.. and the music if rather undesirable.. Though the set design, makeup and costumes more than makes up for the films week points. So if you like animation – this is an absolute must see. P.S There is also a fun little short film as an extra, but I really wanted a ‘making of’ as this film really deserves one. 8/10

‘THEM’

Here’s this weeks film review: This is a hard one to give a score out of ten to as half the film is brilliantly scary, but the other half is a little bit of a let down. Don’t get me wrong .. the film pushes all the right fright buttons throughout and has you jumping round the room in a nervous dither. The problem for me was that I was disappointed when they revealed who ‘them’ really are/is/was. Once that was out the bag, for me the film wasn’t as thrilling as the first half. I know this is supposed to be based on a true story, but the story probably was more scary when fist printed in the tabloids.. yet has lost it’s shock value now as a movie. It does still keep up the suspense rather well though and will have you rooting for the lead characters till the bitter end – so well worth watching if you think your nerves can take a damn good beating. 7/10. 

The Brothers Quay : The Piano Tuner Of Earthquakes

I was extremely disappointed by the brothers second live action feature. Visually this is an absolute treat to the eyes, but unfortunately the narrative is an absolute mess. This is a shame because I think the story is a brilliant idea that perfectly fits in to their back catalogue of work.. But it’s as if they became a bit lost when filming on a bigger scale. Also I found that whenever there was a brief piece of stop-motion, I was reminded of how brilliant their short model animations are – and how terrible this is! The hour long interview with the brothers (special feature) is interesting and informative. Reflecting on their childhood/education and how they became animators. They also talk about the Channel 4 backers wanting this second feature to have well known actors, be in colour and have more of a story… Maybe next time they should put two fingers up at the fat cats in their offices and go off and do what they do best. Grrrrrrrrrr – makes me sick seeing good talent being miss guided in such a way.